Pikes Peak River Runners


Author unknown

You "pour over" streamflow readings the way a stockbroker scans the markets everyday.

You practically salivate at the sound of rainfall.

There's no room on your speed-dial for anything but
gauge readings and the numbers of people with
nicknames like Psycho.

You paid more for a roof-rack for the boat than you
spent for anniversary presents.

You tie down the boat better than you seatbelt in
the kids.

"Waterproof" means "a little damp" or "might-float"

Your friends or relatives are shocked when you
answer the phone at home on a weekend.

House guests ask you why you replaced your living
room sofa with a rubber thwart ...

You can't drive over a bridge without looking for
water under it.

The smell of old polypro doesn't bother you.

Your wife says you love your boat and your boat'n
buddies more than her, and she sounds just like your
first wife...and your second.

Your idea of a complete first aid kit is a roll of
duct tape.

You choose a new car based on whether or not your
rack system will fit it.

A dress shirt and tie no longer bother you, because
they're looser than a drysuit neck gasket.

You co-workers (and non-boating friends, family and
your spouse) will not ride in your vehicle between
March and October because of the ode de polypro.

The sight of a waterfall gives you the
uncontrollable urge to urinate in a nearby bush-
while you search out the line...

You call your buddies in order of shuttle ability.

Your boat is worth more than your car.

Even in the dead of winter, you never actually lose
the Teva tan lines...

You build your new house as close as possible to the
flood plain.

Your dog loves to roll in your pile of paddling

You're all dressed up and don't notice that you're
being rained on.

You ask the clerk at Eaton's how well these dress
shoes hold up to immersion.

You measure major purchases relative to the cost of
a new boat...('Hmmm, that new computer will cost me
about the same as a new cat boat')

You're the one with the Bright Sunny Smile on the
Cold Rainy Day.

Every once in a while you touch your paddle, just to
touch it...every once in a while you let go of your
paddle, just to eat something.

When your non boating friends visit your home or
your car they ask "Do you have dogs?"

You have no trouble saying "Rotomolded Crosslink
Polyethelyne" ten times fast.

You have a bathing suit that's wet from March to

Your Mom has stopped saying "be careful this

You've never setup a tent when it's light out.

You've tied up your mate using either a taught-line
or trucker's hitch.

You have friends that you don't recognize without
their helmet, pfd, paddling jacket, and boat

You can ID make and model on a car topped kayak at a quarter mile...

"Wet, sticky hole" and "blowing a ferry" in casual
conversation don't give you pause...

You always have sinus congestion on monday morning..

You leave your glasses strap on at night.

Your only considerations when buying a car are
ground clearance, trailer towing ability and the size of the rain gutters.

All career, personal and financial decisions are
judged by the criteria of "How will this increase my
paddling time?"

You visit Niagara Falls and think "This may be

You build a 2 car garage addition and you still
can't park your car inside.

You bug out on your wife and kids to go paddling for
the weekend because you are SURE your priorities right.

You deliberately watch the whole commercial just to
see the kayak on the car...

You maneuvre your car on five-lane streets by
eddying out behind trucks and making S-moves in the
left turn lane. And you lean into the turns

If you live in a town with a river running through
it, you give street directions with descriptions
like "upstream of the ..." or "two blocks down on
river left ..."

You find yourself humming Weather Channel tunes and hope for flooding.

It takes longer and longer to get your "land legs"
back. Solid ground "feels funny".

You feel all mushy inside when your wife gives you a
drytop for Christmas.

You keep moving the car seat forward, so you can
bend your knees and feel good and wedged in for
pulling maneuvers on the freeway.

You can't look at water in a gutter without
imagining tiny runs and miniature waves and holes.

You start driving around with your PFD and helmet on
because you have noticed that other drivers tend to
give you the right of way.

After a car wreck, the first thing you check for is
damage to your boat.

The only thing you worry about when getting naked
just about *anywhere* is whether or not you'll get a
Time On the Water is Time Well Spent